Moving in together is exciting, but it's also a major financial decision. Before you share a lease or mortgage, have these crucial conversations. They might feel awkward now, but they'll prevent much bigger problems later.
The Income and Debt Conversation
Before combining households, you need to know each other's full financial picture.
Questions to Ask
- What's your monthly take-home income?
- Do you have any debt? How much and what type?
- What are your monthly debt payments?
- What's your credit score (approximately)?
- Do you have any savings?
⚠️ Why This Matters
Hidden debt is one of the top relationship deal-breakers. Better to discover £20,000 in credit card debt now than after you've signed a joint lease.
The Lifestyle and Values Conversation
Questions to Ask
- How much do you typically spend per month?
- What do you consider essential vs. luxury spending?
- How do you feel about dining out vs. cooking?
- What's your attitude toward saving?
- Are you a spender or a saver by nature?
There's no right answer, but major differences need discussion. A saver partnered with a spender will face ongoing tension without clear agreements.
The Living Arrangement Conversation
Questions to Ask
- What can we afford for rent/mortgage? (Use 30% of combined income as a guideline)
- What neighbourhood meets both our needs?
- How will we split rent—equally or proportionally?
- Who will be on the lease/mortgage?
- What happens if we break up? (Not romantic, but necessary)
Calculate Your Combined Budget
Use our budget calculator to see what you can afford together before you start looking.
The Bills and Expenses Conversation
Questions to Ask
- How will we split utilities and bills?
- Who will manage bill payments?
- Will we have a joint account for household expenses?
- How will we handle groceries?
- What about furniture and household items?
The Future Goals Conversation
Questions to Ask
- What are your financial goals for the next 1-5 years?
- Do you want to buy a house eventually?
- What are your career and income expectations?
- Do you want children? When?
- What does financial security mean to you?
⚠️ Red Flags
Be cautious if your partner refuses to discuss money, gets defensive about questions, or their story keeps changing. Financial transparency is essential for cohabitation.
The Emergency Plan Conversation
Questions to Ask
- Do you have an emergency fund? How much?
- What happens if one of us loses our job?
- Can we afford this place on one income temporarily?
- Do we need renters insurance?
- What's our plan if the relationship doesn't work out?
Setting Up Your Shared Finances
Once you've had these conversations:
- Decide on an account structure: Joint, separate, or hybrid
- Set up automatic bill payments: Decide whose account they come from
- Create a shared budget: Track household spending together
- Schedule money dates: Regular check-ins prevent problems
- Build joint emergency savings: Protect your shared home
Protecting Yourself
While thinking positively, be practical:
- Keep some savings in your own name
- Document who paid for major purchases
- Consider a cohabitation agreement for significant assets
- Maintain your individual credit
- Don't sacrifice your career or earning potential completely
About iBudget
iBudget helps couples and families take control of their finances with simple, collaborative budgeting tools. Track spending, set goals, and build wealth together.
Start Your Budget
